Decline Of Civilization: Reports- Britney Spears To Star As Mary Richards In Sitcom Remake

Britney Spears apparently had a brilliant accomplishment last month. She actually showed up for one day of work sober and did not have a breakdown, and did not have to be involuntarily committed to a psych ward. So what does showing up one day of work and executing a few lines do for her? Well, apparently CBS is cooking up her own sitcom, a remake of the 70's hit the Mary Tyler Moore Show, where Britney will play, who else, Mary Richards, the coming of age woman who faces the struggles of an aspiring 70's woman fighting to be taken seriously in a male dominated workplace. Mary Richards was a role model to young women around the world, and the ultimate symbol of the women's liberation movement. So, is it just me that sees the irony here? Not only is a remake of a classic indicative of a vapid dearth of creativity bubbling over in Hollywood and our culture in general, but isn't Britney the anti- Mary Tyler Moore? Is the new ideal a ho? Is the new ideal a nutter who can't even wear panties in public? Is the new ideal someone who despite her vast fortune, decides to get drunk and high rather than care for the beautiful children that she was blessed with. Is the new ideal complete irresponsibility? I can tell you one thing, Mary Richards she is not! Sure, everyone deserves a second, or tenth chance, this is America after all, but how bout casting her as the outspoken, crude, and nasty Flo from the sitcom "Alice"? "Kiss my grits" is much more like it!
The Word: The Return Of Britney Spears (Metro)
April Fools!